So…it’s been a few months. Meh.
You see, when I started this blog, I openly admitted that it was about my process of learning to be healthy. Inevitably, two things happened.
1. I fell off the wagon. Who doesn’t?
After a long year of losing loved ones, wedding planning, graduate thesis writing, and attempting to completely overhaul the way one views, prepares, and eats food, a little burnout is bound to ensue. Or perhaps burnout is the wrong word. The right word is probably something more like honeymoon.
You’ve heard the phrase “the honeymoon is over,” yes? It usually refers to a point when a relationship becomes difficult and the struggling couple must come to terms with the fact that they’re no longer in the easy, fun phase – it’s time to step up their game and work hard to make this massive life change actually work effectively. This isn’t exactly what I went through, as John and I have been together for over six years and are well aware of the need to put effort into ensuring our relationship stays strong and vibrant. What I experienced was this same disillusioned feeling with pretty much every other aspect of my life. Especially food and exercise.
Certainly, I’d picked up some good habits during my healthy time that I didn’t let go.
But my desire to learn and experiment lay dormant as my body wanted to sit, be lazy, and order in, as if it wouldn’t let go of the feeling it had lounging leisurely over meals that someone else prepared in the paradise that is Bora Bora. Your body and mental state wouldn’t want to leave this either.
2. After starting notjustacarnivore, I tried to take on too much at once, and I eventually became overwhelmed.
Learning to be healthy is certainly wonderful and necessary, and during my sort of hiatus, I missed it, I yearned for it, but I somehow couldn’t pull myself off the couch to go to the grocery store, buy healthy food, and cook it. I couldn’t imagine cooking and eating healthily as being simple because, when I started this whole process, I simply did too much.
I went from cooking maybe twice a month to cooking every day, multiple times a day, from scratch, with only fresh, whole ingredients, documenting my every move (and food construction) in photo form so I could later write about it, constantly reading food blogs, health food articles, and books to ensure that I was up on all the latest trends and information, all the while exercising, attempting Couch-to-5k, knee pain, re-attempting Couch-to-5k, more knee pain, recognizing that I needed to start doing weights again, not wanting to do weights again, withdrawing from all forms of exercise simply to avoid doing weights again . . .
Then summer ended, the wedding passed, school started back, and…to be cliche for a moment…the honeymoon was over.
I’ve spent the last few months trying to get a lot of things back on a functional track. How can I manage to cook and be healthy while also working as a full-time graduate student and teaching university-level classes? How can I please my husband’s tastes and my own? How can I work exercise into my routine without letting it dominate my schedule? How can I work to ensure I maintain steady, healthy mental and physical functions? And most importantly, how can I do all of this without overdoing any of it?
I didn’t allow myself to blog for a while because I wanted to straighten out some of these issues on my own. Privately. Now that I have somewhat of a grasp on it (although let’s be honest, it’ll always be a struggle), I can return to my blog baby, but in a slightly modified way.
I probably won’t post every day. Sometimes I’ll post twice daily; sometimes I’ll go weeks without posting. My blog may not always be about food and fitness; it’s about learning to live healthily, so I’ll return to that mission, exploring the most essential aspect of healthy living: balance. And we’ll see where it goes from there.
After all, it’s my blog. I can do what I want with it.